thoughts and nonsense from the ecuadorian peanut gallery.

'His eyes tried unsuccessfully to find some order in this blatant disregard for certainty.'

umm tell me about it. nothing sums up this ecaudor experience better than this little piece of the latest book that i just finished last night. (i am an english book reading machine. i'm onto 'the alchemist' now... which will be fast... and then i'm starting to dwindle on my collection. the vast majority of my luggage weight was books. oops.) anyways. nothing too exciting has happened in the last few days so i thought i would grace y'all (bad habit) with some thoughts from the depths of my confused mind. and of course, now all of my semi-intelligent thoughts have fallen out of my head and i can't think of what i have been thinking about for four weeks now. i don't know... i guess ecuador, as a country, kind of baffles me. it is disorganized and ridiculous and crazy and the government is corrupt and awful and i cannot understand 75% of what is said to me (ok, fine. i exaggerated. maybe 45%.) but for some reason it works. i mean, no it is not the most glorious place to live and it is certainly not the cleanest... but people are happy. their culture is slower paced and doesn't revolve around who is the best or the fastest or the richest or the most powerful or even what their rank is in the grand scheme of the world. i cannot imagine growing up in a place that does not shove how wonderful my country is down my throat every chance that they (whoever 'they' is) get. i don't know how i feel about all of that. this is not a big bashing of the united states... but it strikes me as strange that i have never truly questioned whether the way we do things, the way we run our lives, is the best. i feel like i have been robbed of a big spectrum of thoughts. i feel so uneducated about the rest of the world and so oblivious about life beyond the statue of liberty (which doesn't seem ver free at the moment). i mean... just one small and perhaps stupid example of our self-absorption is this: my professor asked me what i was (in terms of nationality), and i replied 'americana'... he said, in so many words, 'well... i am americano too.' wait. what?! no! i am american! oh wait... there ARE other americans. christopher columbus (who is NOT called christopher columbus here) did NOT land in north america. i mean. i guess i knew that, but have i ever really thought about it? no. hell. i didn't know where ecuador was on a map before this year. am i stupid? no. have i just not studied enough? no. (hell no.) so why in the world am i so oblivious? why am i surprised that people here don't know anything about the united states beyond the fact that we are rich, spoiled and greedy. that is what the world thinks of us. how embarassing is that? it is slightly embarassing to say that i am from the states and to have a load of stereotypes thrust on my shoulders. but can we blame them? of course i don't believe the awful things that they think about the states... but how can we sit and whine about how we are perceived when we fail to realize what is beyond our borders. i don't know. i am just rambling now.

i guess what struck up all of these thoughts was a conversation with a guy from sweden who had just finished studying in cuba for four months... while simultaneously finishing 'Mountains Beyond Mountains'... we were talking about health care systems. first of all, i find it strange that i know NOTHING about cuba. nothing. because of the embargo, they have basically been wiped off the map. ok fine. i get the communism thing. i do. but still. and secondly... cuba has quite possibly a much more effective health care system for the poor than the united states. they have more doctors per capita (right word?) than any other country in the world and they are not paid as stellar as they are in the states. wait, what?! cuba?! CUBA has a better functioning health care system than the freaking united states of america?!?!? this obviously could be debated... but THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS THAT I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT. i don't consider myself close-minded... but i do find it ridiculous that for some reason i have been entrained to not question things like this. and i don't know why it is so shocking, but it kind of is. it is a big curve ball to realize that i live in a country that assumes everything it does is the best... and i have failed to question that. and quite frankly, i don't agree. call me liberal, if you must. but i think it is an interesting thing to think about.

disclaimer: this is less of a bash on the united states as a country and more of a bash on my personal failure to question what i have automatically assumed to be true. (some of which i now doubt.) and honestly, i think doubt is healthy. i think the united states would be better off if perhaps we looked at alternative options for running things... what an idea. to consider the fact that we might not be the best could give us the potential to rise even higher. if that makes any sense. who knows? welcome to my mind.

so many more random thoughts... on mcats and medical school and friendships and barriers and blah. but i need to get out of this smelly internet cafe and on with my life.

lesson number 1: live in the present. (i am still working on this.)