it's july already?!

hmm. this was my most interesting realization for the day. i looked down at my watch and didn't believe the '07' that i saw. i guess this is good and bad. i was not entirely sure at the beginning of this adventure that i could make it through 9 weeks. '9 weeks' sounds so much more glamorous when you are talking on the phone to the director and then you leave to go to lecture. i guess '9 weeks' did not sink in until i realized how long 1 day can feel. but alas. here i am. 4 weeks into this... adventure. i think 'adventure' sounds slightly presumptuous for some reason, but this really has been an adventure.

an adventure in being alone.
an adventure in learning.
an adventure in not being able to explain myself.
an adventure in how to live on my own.
an adventure in discovery.
(an adventure in culinary areas...)

of course there are days and moments that i would give anything to be in the plane flying overhead and back home... but looking back over the past 4 weeks, i have learned a lot. of course i have learned a lot of español, but (as revoltingly tacky as this sounds) i have learned a lot about myself. maybe not learned a lot ABOUT myself, but i have learned that i can withstand more than i previously believed was possible. and that is strange to say as well, because i am not 'roughing it' here. sure the food blows and the shower pressure and water temperature leaves something to be desired... but still. i cannot put accurrate (sp?) words to the last 4 weeks to convey what has happened and how i feel.

i have made a sort of home for myself here... and it is scary because i am throwing that away AGAIN starting monday. i have to rebuild. i have to change. but isn't that kind of the story of life? learning to cope with change. learning to be ok with change. to accept it. to love it. to see that it has the potential to bring so many good things into life. i think that is what i have been trying to learn in the past four weeks. (along with spanish!)

who knows what i will learn in ibarra? hopefully a little medicine and a lot more spanish... but even more so, i am hoping to relearn my change lessons from the past month. if i can do ibarra with less lonliness and more determination that i can do it... i think this past month will have been an immense success. and a big stepping stone towards what i want to do with my life.

but, trust me. i miss things from home terribly...
1. food
2. hamburgers
3. not having to eat soup twice a day and tea three times a day
4. midtown
5. the apt and the civilians of the apt complex :)
6. centenial park
7. my team
8. understanding conversations on public transportation
9. hugs
10. the quote wall
11. walking down the street to the next apartment complex...
12. SEA LEVEL
13. an overwhelming lack of body odor
14. sleeping on an air mattress
15. being understood... on an infinite number of levels

ok. off to lunch with spenser... we are sneaking out (not really sneaking... but sneaking sounds cooler) for pizza. real. pizza. oh dios... how amazingly wonderful! there are just too many stories about ana maria to even begin right now... she is a character and not the best cook... sheesh. hope life en los estado unidos is fantastic. (and africa too! yeah carm!) lots of love and besos.